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Who would be the best Princess Leia?

Caleb
Total votes: 3 (50%)
Frank
(No votes)
Saoirse
Total votes: 3 (50%)
Nilo
(No votes)
Total votes: 6
Post

Who Would be the Best Princess Leia: The Bikini-ing

#1
Seeing as Beta Squad is currently meeting with Big Daneelo, a slug-like, sort-of mob boss who can apparently kill people with a literal death glare (or so the story goes), a possibly relevant question is: which of the squad would best pull off the role of poor Princess Leia in Jabba's Palace?

Our unfortunate contestants:

Caleb Moore:
Pros:
  • Sculpted, manly physique- would look stunning in a metal bikini
  • Has enough strength to strangle Daneelo as the rest of the squad does the fun stuff
Cons:
  • Beard somewhat detracts from his womanly charms
  • Definitely wouldn't kiss his hypothetical sibling

Frank Foster
Pros:
  • Apparently charming enough to get the lunchlady already
  • Can definitely play the damsel in distress
Cons:
  • "Janitor" isn't a very princess-y occupation
  • Probably isn't pretty enough to pull it off

Saoirse Fri'leth:
Pros:
  • Is the only female member of the squad
  • Would be entertaining to watch strangling somebody with her mind
Cons:
  • Perhaps too much metal to pull off the outfit
  • Would likely murder the entire room for getting her name wrong before the escape attempt even starts

Nilo Arcterius
Pros:
  • Would definitely be willing to strangle Daneelo, probably for even less than dressing him in tacky wall ornaments
  • Is submission not preferable to extinction?
Cons:
  • Too mysterious to be a well-known princess
  • I am Sovereign, and this is my station!
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Re: Who Would be the Best Princess Leia: The Bikini-ing

#2
cuisinart8 wrote:
Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:26 pm
Saoirse Fri'leth:
Cons:
Perhaps too much metal to pull off the outfit
Ehhh, I wouldn't quite say that, Cuis...

After all, the Star Wars intro says "a long long time ago"...and this now is the future!

Mecha-Leia is a-ok in my opinion then.

And btw... Ex-Soldier is a more princess-y occupation than Janitor? At least the later has a certain amount of cleanlyness to it :V
Apparently, sometimes stuff might happen.
Post

Re: Who Would be the Best Princess Leia: The Bikini-ing

#4
F4wk35 wrote:
Fri Jul 19, 2019 10:22 am
Ehhh, I wouldn't quite say that, Cuis...

After all, the Star Wars intro says "a long long time ago"...and this now is the future!

Mecha-Leia is a-ok in my opinion then.

And btw... Ex-Soldier is a more princess-y occupation than Janitor? At least the later has a certain amount of cleanlyness to it :V
I, for one, welcome our new robo-princess overlords.

And ex-soldier is definitely a princessy occupation. You see tons of princesses going around busting heads in movies, but I don't think I've seen a single one cleaning up a mall or something :3
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Re: Who Would be the Best Princess Leia: The Bikini-ing

#5
Perhaps it would be good to post the story that spawned this thread. (edited somewhat to improve cohesion/readability)


<Talvieno> incidentally, do you know what made big daneelo famous?
<bpender> did big daneelo drop people into a rancor pit?
<bpender> is saoirse going to end up in a metal bikini?
<Talvieno> about 153 years ago - just prior to the turn of the millennia, big daneelo was involved with some of the decline of fuhodo as they moved offworld
<Talvieno> where "they" is the corporation that previously owned the station
<Talvieno> see, big daneelo, he was originally one of those corporate schmucks who just wanted the best profit for his dollar
<bpender> i mean he is a literal slug
<Talvieno> but he ended up caring more about the station and its people than he expected
<bpender> oh never mind
<Talvieno> of course, things went south eventually
<Talvieno> and the station started falling apart - riots and the like
* narwhalz0111 enlarges the IRC client tile to appreciate this worldbuilding
<Talvieno> I mean, without a formal government in place, how are you going to keep control? it's just not doable
<bpender> is daneelo famous for the Great Atmospheric Venting Incident?
<Talvieno> not nearly
<Talvieno> in fact, he was the one that stopped it
<bpender> nice :3
<Talvieno> see, the privatized government, trapped in the palaces, was putting up a fight - their "last stand" so to speak - against the angry mob
<Talvieno> the angry mob angry for one, because they were starving, two, because they were starving, and three (to a lesser extent) because they really were honest-to-god starving
<Talvieno> so I mean honestly the obvious solution is a mass culling
<Talvieno> and hence, the venting
<Talvieno> so all the citizens in the corridors leading up to the palaces - tens of thousands of them - close to 26,000 all told - perished in seconds
<bpender> i imagine that didn't endear the government to the people any more than before
<bpender> or to big daneelo, it sounds :3
<Talvieno> the "govs" were planning on venting the rest of the station, and that's when big daneelo burst onstage, so to speak
<narwhalz0111> the engineers on the station go "wait that's supposed to be impossible"
<Talvieno> he quite literally burst into their control room with an army of rebels and assassinated the military officer in charge himself before those at the desks could carry out the orders
<Talvieno> and here's where it gets interesting
<Talvieno> big daneelo wasn't carrying a weapon.
<Talvieno> those with him swore to the day they died that big daneelo didn't do anything more than glare at the guy and he dropped dead, right where he stood. and that was it.
<bpender> ...was this all just a big setup for "here's how caleb gets surprise-killed today?" :3
<Talvieno> it became known as "big daneelo's death stare"
<Talvieno> and yes, it was 153 years ago
<Talvieno> but plodii live quite a long time
<bpender> yeah, a few centuries at least iirc
<Talvieno> and they have memories like elephants. they never forget a customer.
<Talvieno> and even less frequently... do they forget an enemy.
<bpender> *glares at caleb*
<bpender> daneelo won't have to worry about remembering caleb once he death-glares him to oblivion though
<Talvieno> no, he'll still remember. just in case caleb, against all odds, ever comes back
<bpender> i'm slightly disappointed at the lack of rancor-feeding, but i'll definitely accept having a literally lethal glare
<bpender> was the bit about his rise to power actually true?
<Talvieno> of course
<bpender> (minus the "he killed the station CO with a glare" bit?)
<Talvieno> well, that's the actual story
<Talvieno> nobody knows what really happened and Mr. Daneelo certainly never made any attempt to correct anyone
<bpender> lmao i love that that's the story everyone knows now
<Talvieno> now? remember when caleb walked into the room?
<bpender> i hope we hear more about his legendary glaring abilities :3
<bpender> oh god
<bpender> caleb's a marked man
<Talvieno> remember the alien Daneelo was talking to? Remember how he acted?
<Talvieno> "Big Daneelo has a very commanding air when he speaks - one that almost demands respect. The person standing in front of it seems to be giving it - reluctantly, however; almost out of fear."
<bpender> ah, he doesn't want to be glared at
<bpender> i absolutely love this lol
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