If Cho Dyoun was given a substitute for the meal Alpha failed to bring back, which inmate would taste the best and therefore most please her?
After a great deal of thought, brainstorming, science and research, my colleagues and I narrowed the potential list down to three ideal candidates. Their major points and flaws are listed below. (Important note: All other candidates were eliminated in our clinical trials; however, we are open to them being re-suggested.)
Buck
PROS:
- A natural alcoholic taste, excellent for parties and banquets.
- Gullible; easy to lead to the cooking pot.
- A drunk Cho might be adorable.
- May possibly be rather dirty. Not entirely certain washing will clean it out enough.
- Not everyone likes the taste of everclear.
- He usually provides better entertainment for guests while he's still living.
Gene
PROS:
- The thrill of the hunt! Gene is a hard man to find.
- Being a quiet person, he's not likely to complain.
- As a soldier, he's less likely to be scared. Stressed meat doesn't taste as good.
- He is, again, a hard man to find.
- He probably has the least meat on him out of all the candidates.
- He might be armed. This could prove unfortunate to the hunting party.
Ishmael
PROS:
- Very fatty. Fat is the highway upon which flavor travels.
- Large men are more likely to be more meaty.
- He can personally ask the FSM to bless the meal.
- Likely to preach at you.
- FSM may not be entirely pleased.
- Might not be ideal if Cho is trying to watch her weight.
As this is a very difficult scientific question to answer, we're in need of your professional opinions. Using the poll we've provided, please assist us by selecting the candidate that seems like the most viable choice according to your independent research, in the hopes that we may narrow down the list in case we are ever stranded somewhere and Cho is hungry. Thank you for your assistance and cooperation.