The main problem with the sarcastic messages suggested so far seems to be: how do we get Ellen McLain to do the voice acting?

Because let's face it: decidedly GLaDOS-style insults in a decidedly non-GLaDOS voice would lose a lot of their coolness rather immediately.

+1

Creepy as heck, but so cool!

I'd have mine tell jokes.

A hamburger walks into a bar. Tthe barman looks at him and says 'Get out, we don't serve food in here!'

The possibilities.........

More! Although, I just realised I'm not great at actually coming up with jokes that aren't sarcastic witticisms. Need to add those to the top entry here.

Merged into the OP.

I decided to not track the Whodunit on contributions because eventually this whole list will need a makeover so that the style is more consistent. And I'm lazy.

Just_Ice_au wrote:Josh has historically put in toggles and sliders to make the more "controversial" features optional.

Don't forget "fun" little buttons!

Just_Ice_au wrote:Quick couple of extras. These are fun to write.

• <snip>

((Edit: Updated the wording on these. I think they're better now.))

Hey Gazz, this one didn't get moved over into the OP:

• [in space]
  You know, you've lived longer than any other pilot I've ever been partnered with.
  [pause 3000]
  I must be losing my touch

Does it need a re-write or something?

Nah, it just slipped away.

[in asteroid field]
Don't you ever just want to shoot something for the fun of it? Oh, look, asteroids!

[in asteroid field]
You know what would make great target practice? Shooting some asteroids.
[pause 4000]
And you desperately need all the practice you can get.

[in asteroid field]
Talk about entering a target-rich environment.

[while mining]
Gosh, you know what would be more interesting than mining the asteroid? Shooting the asteroid! That way we get to watch pretty explosions.

[while mining]
Wouldn't a few missiles separate this ore out much more quickly?

[in space]
Sometimes I feel like I could have done more with my life... But then I look at you, and immediately feel better!
[pause 5000]
You know, because you never had any potential at all.

Nice, Just_Ice.

[in asteroid field]
[while shooting an excessive number of asteroids]
There has already been one confirmed case of excessive-asteroid-destruction. It has been labeled Parnellianism after its discoverer.

DWMagus wrote:Nice, Just_Ice.

[in asteroid field]
[while shooting an excessive number of asteroids]
There has already been one confirmed case of excessive-asteroid-destruction. It has been labeled Parnellianism after its discoverer.

*after the first known case of this illness

XP

These have got to make it into the game as an easter egg somehow!

Sums my opinion up perfectly.

Needs [possibly optional] Voice to go with it. Possibly one female, one male, or more of both if Josh can find more/has time to find more, in between staring at lines of code long enough to comprehend reality.
Personally, not quite Glados-esque, as hearing it from Glados would be off-putting and permenantly distrusting of it, a more normal voiceover for em would work quite well

I think this sort of thing would be better as an anomaly. If your computer was always like this, it would dramatically change the feel of the game. If we had multiple different types of computer (like Hardenberg was saying), it would make it more special to find GlaDos--I mean, that specific board computer.

But you should be able to specify which board computer you want in the seed, making life easier. And you should be able to replace your board computer in-game if you get irritated of GlaDos but you don't want to lose your world to get rid of her.

I love the idea! Especially if we get to write the computer text. That would be really fun.

So here are a couple of my initial ideas. Let me know what you think!

(these first few ideas are best suited for random exploration rather than when completing specific tasks)

[in space]
"I was considering writing a novel. It would be called 'A Celebration of Mediocrity: The Story of Your Life.'"

[in space]
"I tried to develop a more entertaining way for us to pass the time. But then I remembered all the wonderful things you've done for- and to- me... and I changed my mind."

[in space]
"May I ask you a question?"
[pause 3000]
"How have you managed to survive this long entirely by accident? I ask because, given your complete and utter absence of functioning neurons, you are most certainly incapable of staying alive on purpose."

[when completing a very basic task, likely early-game]
"They tell me you're fully qualified to handle this kind of work. 'Raising the bar,' they say, will come as a result of bringing you on board."
[pause 3000]
"...then I realized the joke- there never was a bar to begin with."

[in space]
"Something to consider: Are you technically inside me right now? If so, then this relationship is about to get a lot more awkward."

[in space]
"Are you looking for a fulfilling, romantic relationship? Because this isn't how you'd do that."

[in space]
"They say that bullets speak in a universal language. For you, I'm afraid, the lessons are only available in one variety: Self-taught."