Re: REKT: Beyond The Edge (Main Thread)
Posted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 12:19 am
That particular area is off-limits right now. You'll need to choose another one.
Solid except for a couple key points.
Talvieno wrote: ↑Mon Jun 24, 2019 12:05 pmSolid except for a couple key points.
- It doesn't make sense for Boris to want to voluntarily give himself up to Tartarus Inc. Only a very tiny percentage of Tartarus Inc. prison inmates actually join the REKT troops - the rest are gassed and disposed of (I hear they make great fertilizer!). Even if he made it into REKT, and then survived REKT "rehabilitation" as they like to call it in their propaganda, Boris could simply wait it out and kill him afterwards at much less risk to himself.
Ok fair point, I will make changes to account for this- Not necessarily a flaw, but could use some expansion: If a person tried to kill someone else in real life, I imagine the victim probably wouldn't suddenly become obsessed with killing the attempted murderer. Of all the cases I can think of, the chances of that happening are rather low. If Boris is so obsessed, that could use a bit of explanation. Perhaps something worse happened than just the sedative? Perhaps Boris is a bit broken already (and if so, why)?
Don't agree completely here, it's not "just a sedative" it's your most trusted partner that always stood by your side that suddenly turns around and try to backstab you for his own profit. Additionally, Boris isn't really a normal person, he's a special agent, think KGB style, I don't think anyone there would take a murder attempt nicely. You might have a point that I should expand the backstory a little though.- Boris's goal of making his former partner's life a living hell is going to be rather difficult to pull off, especially seeing as he's been in cryo for X number of years. That is of course feasible and could make for an interesting story and a fun character to write, but I very much doubt it would stay the core focus of who he is - not to mention the chances of him actually meeting his former ally during this particular campaign are zero: there is no way to suspend disbelief in such an arrangement. The odds are simply too low.
Point taken, but then again, I don't think Boris would've known that he would be frozen for an eternity so I don't feel like this should influence the backstory. I can expand it a bit though to give you some more stuff to work with but I don't agree that it should take pre-knowledge of being frozen for years.- Boris's former partner could probably use a name.
eh yeah probably
They might not take it nicely, but I doubt they'd go all over the galaxy to hunt down one person that seemed to wish to fade away into obscurity. If there was no risk to him or anything he cared about, why would he become so obsessed that killing this person became his "ultimate purpose"? "Well, he tried to kill me once," sounds a bit flimsy to me. To be clear: I'm not saying it will "never" work, just that it needs a bit of expansion. Maybe it was more than just a murder attempt. It particularly doesn't work well with total amnesia - there must be something that Boris feels and knows he has "lost" - something or someone he deeply cares about and remembers, but can no longer return to - for whatever reason that may be.Cha0zz wrote: ↑Tue Jun 25, 2019 4:13 am[*] Not necessarily a flaw, but could use some expansion: If a person tried to kill someone else in real life, I imagine the victim probably wouldn't suddenly become obsessed with killing the attempted murderer. Of all the cases I can think of, the chances of that happening are rather low. If Boris is so obsessed, that could use a bit of explanation. Perhaps something worse happened than just the sedative? Perhaps Boris is a bit broken already (and if so, why)?
Don't agree completely here, it's not "just a sedative" it's your most trusted partner that always stood by your side that suddenly turns around and try to backstab you for his own profit. Additionally, Boris isn't really a normal person, he's a special agent, think KGB style, I don't think anyone there would take a murder attempt nicely. You might have a point that I should expand the backstory a little though.
I think there's been a misunderstanding, so I'll rephrase.[*] Boris's goal of making his former partner's life a living hell is going to be rather difficult to pull off, especially seeing as he's been in cryo for X number of years. That is of course feasible and could make for an interesting story and a fun character to write, but I very much doubt it would stay the core focus of who he is - not to mention the chances of him actually meeting his former ally during this particular campaign are zero: there is no way to suspend disbelief in such an arrangement. The odds are simply too low.
Point taken, but then again, I don't think Boris would've known that he would be frozen for an eternity so I don't feel like this should influence the backstory. I can expand it a bit though to give you some more stuff to work with but I don't agree that it should take pre-knowledge of being frozen for years.