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Character Stories

This thread is for people who want to write extensive stories about their characters. Didn't like that your character's backstory was so short? Wanted to make a longer one? That's totally fine - you can expand upon it here, and recount epic stories of their adventures before they were level 1. You can ask for feedback on it all, too. :) Two things to remember, though:
  • Nothing you say here will have any effect on missions. If you say you know Kung Fu in a story here, you won't be any more agile in combat.
  • Nothing here is necessarily "canon" for the game. Writing something here does not make it law.
  • These stories won't necessarily get posted on the wiki, unless you want to add them to your own character sheet somewhere. We're still not entirely sure what we're going to do with the "Tales" page.
  • It doesn't necessarily have to be about your character - it can be about anything you want.
I'll keep links to stories in this post, so that people can navigate to them easily if the thread gets long.
Have a question? Send me a PM! || I have a Patreon page up for REKT now! || People talking in IRC over the past two hours: Image

Re: Character Stories

Francis backstory:
Born Francis Diana Horne in Staccato City, Francis was never considered a "normal" child. For the first three years of his life, Francis was mostly mute; while often crying and/or laughing as babies do, he never attempted to talk until the age of three. His first words were "a penguin disguised as a fire extinguisher".

School didn't take kindly to Francis; he was often bullied for his nonsensical outbursts. He soon learned that the bullies wouldn't bother chasing him, so he simply ran away from them whenever he could. His performance in school was fairly average, although teachers would often complain at his lack of concentration and frequent mistakes. However, he passed all his subjects at a satisfactory grade.

All except music, that is. Francis had a natural affinity to brass instruments, in particular the horn. Labelled a prodigy, the school insisted on Francis performing in the concert band, and by the age of 12 was performing solos, and frequently got perfect scores in his exams.

This later became his career. At the age of 17, as soon as compulsory education ended, he joined the Staccato City Ensemble as their sole horn player. With frequent performances at the local concert hall, he soon became friends with the evolving cast of the ensemble.

Hanging around with Barry and Wolf, Francis soon discovered the joys of arcade gaming. Originally dismissing it due to the violent rail shooters, Francis was drawn in by Horn Hero, a game in which players must play the horn to music. Immediately setting a new record, Francis practiced after every rehearsal and eventually cleared every non-violent game in the arcade.

At the age of 27, after a particularly ill-received performance, the ensemble went on a rampage and attacked the audience (among others). Francis cowered in the corner to avoid the violence, but the next thing he knew he was imprisoned in the REKT program for the slaughter of thousands of people.
Next time I'll recount the story of the Golden Kazoo...
Games I like, in order of how much I like them. (Now permanent and updated regularly!)

Re: Character Stories

gchapyzh wrote:Jimmy Triggerhappy ---
You don't happen to have played Section 8, did you?

Topic: Nice stories :) Perhaps I will have time to work out something on my own for this thread sometime =/
Apparently, sometimes stuff might happen.
- - - - - - - -

Re: Character Stories


"It's what my old crew used to call me. It came from one of our contracts with some mining company. We needed a rare mineral growth from this shitty rimwards planet full of dangerous natives. Some other company just loaded them right up with all the weapons they could fit on their dropships to make things hell for us though. Gave them basic training and no common sense so the whole thing was a mess. Dangerous primitives with no regard for safety, with weapons way too advanced for their tiny brains. They'd blow you up with high explosives from point blank because they didn't understand the difference between a bullet and a bomb. A real big mess. But we fought through it. Some cheap traps and tactical retreats worked some wonders and most of them blew themselves up before we really needed to do anything. Well, then I'd show up, finish up the ones that were still alive - leave a couple to tell the story and you know, smack them around a little to let them know it wasn't a mistake. By the time I was half way done with them I didn't need weapons anymore. I'd just walk into their shitty villages and they'd bow down and chant. Over and over and over again... "Amenra!" "Amenra!" "Amenra!". I stood there for half a day once just to see how long it would go. They didn't stop. Their voices were hoarse and dead. They went silent but their lips didn't stop moving and they chanted still. I was their goddess of death and I took everything from them..."

Re: Character Stories

Scott 'Foreigner' Moireach, T.A. GE/0023457483233 / 05, supplementary documentation.
Dear Mr. Fuggil,

As per prisoner transfer agreement GE/0023457483233 / 05, we send you prior documentation on the subject. However, we must regrettably state that most documents related to the subject's prior activities have been confiscated, and their copies securely erased by the Interstellar Ecological Court due to their sensitivity and possible unfavourable repercussions for the wider Galactic society. It's beyond our power to retrieve them.

Please accept our most humble apologies.

Edwin Lo4orrt, procurement officer, Core Alliance
Newboar murder pigs – best non-human soldiers in the Galaxy! Fast reproduction, utter lack of fear, easy control via direct brain simulation, 'berserk' and 'rape and pillage' modes! Start breeding your private army today!

Secure communications powered by Galactic SecuMail; adverts provided by Iska Search. Submit your confidential data to Iska, and start receiving adverts that interest YOU today!
Interrogation log 345F-AA / 01
Czeny, New Fedrimir
Core Alliance

Czeny police: Inspector Melník (further, 'IM'); Prisoner: FG@45689012F (further, 'P')

IM: Ok, sit down. You understand Galactic Basic, right?
P: Oh...No, I don't. In fact, I speak entirely in growls and battle cries.

<fizzling sounds, punctuated by cries of pain>

IM: That should put you into a cooperative mood.
P (panting heavily): It did.
IM: Good. Now, state your name, origin and affiliation.
P: Scott Alistair Moireach, also knows as 'Foreigner'. Born on Earth 21 standard year ago. Citizen of the Celtic Cultural Commonwealth within the European Cultural Zone, Earth. Also a non-citizen resident of Kepler-438b, also known as Hopeland99.
IM: Why 99?
P: Because Hopeland already exists. Well, kind of. It's rock that rotates around a black hole where humans have been enslaved by sentient genetically modified baboons…

<fizzling sounds, punctuated by cries of pain>

P: Hey, what was that for? I wasn't telling a joke!
IM: Don't stray away from the conversation.

<fizzling sounds, groans>

IM: What's your profession?
P: Unemployed at the moment.
IM: You are a funny guy.

<fizzling sounds, cries and groans go for about 5 minutes>

IM: I am afraid that's all we have time for today. But I can already tell we've made significant progress!
P: Fukc you.

<end of recording>

Courtroom hearing log XX-CF190684hgf##1, old data partially restored from the memory bank

Judge Boobi Gr4p@k: Your actions have denied you the privilege of eating from the pasta bowl with our Lord, the FSM. Your actions also paint you as an unworthy human being. Were you not touched by His Noodly Appendage? Were you not taught the rules of the Holy Book?

Prisoner Moireach: No, your highness, I wasn't. FSM, despite being born on Earth, is not <unintelligible >

<loud noises, crowd chanting 'burn the heretic'>

Judge Boobi Gr4p@k: How dare you speak such heresies! You'll be held responsible according to the rules of treatment of heretics!

Prisoner Moireach: I practice United Christianity and Nordic Paganism, I can't be held responsible by your church!

Judge Boobi Gr4p@k: Heathen! Heathen!

<loud noises, crowd chanting 'burn the heathen'>

Judge Boobi Gr4p@k: Here's your verdict! You are guilty of genocide, lies, deception, hate speech and not respecting true believers' safe space, and – the most important - guilty of not believing in our <loud, screeching sound of a sound wave scrambler>

<sound of metal being thorn apart>

Commissioner Lewis: Thank Odin we are just in time. By IEC order 129576TFG-15 / 00, we are taking over this hearing. Get out.

Judge Boobi Gr4p@k (roaring): Guilty of not believing in our Lord, the FSM!

Commissioner Lewis: Too late, the order is already enacted. Trying to enforce your demands will result in our destroyers using relativistic weaponry on the planet.

Judge Boobi Gr4p@k & the crowd: <unintelligible>

Commissioner Lewis: Get out.

<sound of people hurriedly leaving the room, shouting obscenities>

Courtroom hearing log XX-CF190684hgf##1, redacted: IEC order 129576TFG-15 / 01, partially restored from the memory bank

<redacted text>

Prisoner Moireach: I couldn't. They didn't permit it. They had filtering on the comms. I tried using Gaelic, but they had auto-translation filters, too. I tried hacking but it blocked my own terminal instead. [restored]

Commissioner Lewis: The Rule 0 should have been enforced. Decision about native life should be left to IEC. Means are not important, although I personally disapprove of murder. [restored]

Prisoner Moireach: You are just covering the corporation behind the Kepler-438b project, aren't you?

Commissioner Lewis: I thought that having a hearing in the IEC is in your interests as well.[restored]

Prisoner Moireach: Aye, I suppose. Fine. What will happen to me next? [restored]

Commissioner Lewis: You'll be transferred into our custody and then – to some prison corporation out there. Maybe Happy Prisons or Tartarus. We don't run our own prisons, and we have to respect local courts, too... [restored]

Prisoner Moireach: Ok, I understand. Anyway... I killed 28 people in cold blood. Even with the best of intentions, murder is murder. Just please, no Happy Prisons, I'd go insane there and become a vegetable.[restored]

Commissioner Lewis: Fine. The verdict. By the decision of High FSM's court of Noodly Justice of the New Fedrimir, you are guilty of genocide of the Free Nation of Kepler-438b (Sponsored by Dunnigham Financial Services Inc.), resisting justice, inciting hatred and not respecting FSM believers' views. Your sentence is death penalty, commuted to life imprisonment by Interstellar Ecological Court. End of hearing.

<recording ends>

Personal evaluation of the subject GE/0023457483233 / 05

Blah blah blah nobody reads this shit bla blah blah.
(edited - thank you Dino, copy-pasting typos is what I do!)
Survivor of the Josh Parnell Blackout of 2015.

Re: Character Stories

"Drop in three... two... one... FIRE!"

Fifty capsules shot out of the belly of L.T.C. Hailstone and sped towards the planet.

The capsules quickly broke apart, revealing armored figures,

"One talking. Count off."





"One talking, Five, report!"


"Shit. I think Trigger is out."

"Damn. Okay, keep counting."

By the time count-off finished, the figures were beginning to warm up.

"One to Five. Do you read?"


"Yep, he's dead."

"Roger. Continue as planned."

The suits began glowing, suddenly bursting into full-sized fireballs as they collided with the atmosphere. The shaking in the suits began to intensify. On the surface, the outline of the spaceport began to grow.

A shockwave hit the HALO jump.

"Spaceport firing!"

"Twelve down!"

"Fifty down!"

"Two down!"

"One talking. We passed their PD line, should be smooth from now on."

A squadron of five interceptors shot out over the nearby mountain range and headed for the falling units.

"Never mind! Weapons out!"

The falling troopers began shifting, simultaneously firing their suit's spinal cannons.

Three of the interceptors exploded, but the remaining two killed fifteen troops before dying as well.

"Prepare for hard landing!"

*Yawn* "What happened? Where am I?"


"Ah... Triggerhappy... why... WHY AM I FALLING?"


"ALREADY? When is the burn!?"


"I can't believe he slept through all that..."


Re: Character Stories


Code: Select all

<BMRX> Taiya doesn't like the way I talk
<Triggerhappy> no one does :P
<BMRX> Well
<BMRX> You've made an enemy on this day, you will live in regret of that exact moment from here until the end of your days! YOUR LIFE IS FORFEIT! FORFEIT I TELL YOU! FOOOORRRRRFFEEEIIT!!!! 
<Triggerhappy> >_> *picks up rifle*
<Triggerhappy> Let's do this
<BMRX> Come at me bruh, shoot me with your mortal stick.
<BMRX> I can pretend to pick up a weapon to
* BMRX grabs bow, nocks arrow.
* Triggerhappy uses the rifle as a bat and begins beating the enemy up
* BMRX stands there like a god. Doesn't. Even. Flinch.
<BMRX> Huzzah!
* Triggerhappy stops beating the enemy up, pulls out a grenade, pulls the pin, and then hands it over to the enemy
<KARMA > Quick!
<KARMA > Shadobot, D200
<Shadobot> 31
<KARMA > That's not very effective
* BMRX grabs grenade, waits three seconds, eats it.
* BMRX Your grenade was ineffective.
<Triggerhappy> "Yep. that's what I thought"
<BMRX> Oh that's right
<BMRX> I'm not allowed to change my nick anymore
<Triggerhappy> "Yeah? DId ya know I am also a god?"
* Triggerhappy are now known as SATAN
<BMRX> Satan is only an angel, nothing more. A small cog in the system.
* BMRX yawns.
* SATAN deploys the fires of hell on on the weak human pretending to be a god
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 9
<KARMA > Mildly effective
<SATAN> ((should have deployed my wife))
* BMRX flexes, all soot fall off his body. His godlike being radiates with the brightness of a sun.
* SATAN punches the enemy in the face
* BMRX summons a chair, sits down, and waits.
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 2
<KARMA > ((Not very effective))
* SATAN breaks his fist
<SATAN> shit.
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 4
<KARMA > ((Not very effective))
* SATAN also changes his pants before continuing
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 13
* SATAN collapses the ceiling on the enemy
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 16
<KARMA > ((Effective))
* BMRX startled by what feels to be an object on his head the god cleans the mess that has appeared around him and proclaims:
<BMRX> "Ah light, how lovely"
* BMRX the god sits back down, and summons a cup of coffee.
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 14
* SATAN breaks the coffee cup
<KARMA > ((Good coffee))
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 20
* SATAN the parts of the coffee cup slice into the enemy
<Smartflakes_91> [22:37] (+BMRX) Huzzah!
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 2
* BMRX startled by a broken coffee cup the god calms down, he's a god after all. The god summons another cup.
<KARMA > ((The shrapnel bounces off BMRX))
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 3
<BMRX> Smart I have no idea who that is
* SATAN forces the coffee down the enemy's throat
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 3
<BMRX> ((It's delicious))
<KARMA > ((XD))
<SATAN> ((craaap)))
<BMRX> Anyways this has been fun but I must return to my city in this weird cities skylines game
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 2
* SATAN trips the god
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 16
<KARMA > ((Faceplant)
<SATAN> yesssss
* SATAN kicks the body
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 8
<KARMA > ((Minor scratches))
* SATAN puts a grenade on the body 
<BMRX> I forgot to save...
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 4
<BMRX> Damn
<BMRX> Guess I'll start a new city
<KARMA > ((Grenade rolls away pathetically))
* SATAN picks up a rifle and begins pouring bullets at the body
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 10
<BMRX> pouring?
<SATAN> shhh
<KARMA > ((XD))
<SATAN> spelling: 0
<BMRX> So like, out of a bucket?
<SATAN> yes
<KARMA > ((The body is now under a pile of bullet))
<KARMA > ((Literally))
* SATAN sets the explosive bullets onfire
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 7
<KARMA > ((Bullets fired in all directions))
* SATAN summons a small asteroid at the body
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 4
<KARMA > ((Asteroids blows up in pieces, running down everywhere))
* SATAN pokes the body twice
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 9
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 11
<KARMA > ((You poke at the body, the body pokes back at you))
<KARMA > ((XD))
<SATAN> ahh
* SATAN thinks
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 17
<KARMA > ((Great idea))
<KARMA > ((:P))
<SATAN> ((so whatever that idea is, if I execute it it gives me a bonus?))
<KARMA > ((Sure, I'll give some slack to the next roll))
* SATAN Creates\ a small black hole inside the body
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 16
<SATAN> ((what does that do?))
<SATAN> ((is it finally dead?))
<KARMA > ((The black holes rips apart most of the body))
* SATAN shoves the remains into the ovens
<KARMA > ((The black starts pulling you in, should have taken some distance))
* SATAN turn off the black hole
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 6
<KARMA > ((The black hole becomes bigger, you are approaching the event horizon))
* SATAN dives into the black hole in order to neutralise it
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 4
<SATAN> Ah shit
<KARMA > ((You leap in the black hole, you start spagethizing while moving to the center of singularity))
* SATAN teleports back out
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 8
* SATAN summon a rope and pull myself out
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 4
* SATAN powers up the jetpack and tries to FLY AWAY
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 20
<KARMA > ((You are teleported out of the black hole, right next to the event horizon again. Crippled, you grab a rope and throw it at the black hole, thinking it might help.))
<SATAN> wow
<KARMA > ((You power your jetpack, orienting yourself away in a hurry.))
<SATAN> please tell me that killed god
<KARMA > ((You make it out alive, while the black hole radiates the remains of your enemy))
<SATAN> ... am I done? 
<KARMA > ((You can now have a cup of coffee, well done))
<Zorathex> Taiya who is satan?
<Taiya> Satan is online as Cha0zz; I call them Satan because they asked me to. They usually go by Cha0zz.
<KARMA > Shadobot, D20
<Shadobot> 13
<KARMA > ((And it's a good coffee at that))
* Satan is now known as Triggerhappy
<Triggerhappy> alright not bad 
<Triggerhappy> i am posting this
<KARMA > I am glad I made that bot :D


Re: Character Stories

The goat was bored.
He wasn't always this way, he still had vague impressions of a life before. Of a bipedal life, a boring, non-goat, bipedal life.
The goat was much happier with his current morphology, but still, he was bored.
The colony ship was a large place, full of boring bipedal life forms, and dullard cattle. He couldn't quite remember why he had decided that this ship was worth boarding, nor could he remember where it was headed to, another dull bipedal world no doubt.

There was one biped who was not as boring as the others, but it had died from cranial hemorrhaging after it had tried to "pet" the goat. The other bipeds gave him wide berth now, something to do with being a "possessed devil" or something to that effect.

The lights dimmed, signaling the end of the bipedal day, and the beginning of the goat's time.
Within he found his goal, the power regulators for the primary generators. Making quick work of the cabling with his advanced mastication techniques, the indicators on the control panel for the primary generators quickly moved into the red.

With a loud thunk, and the cessation of the endless hum of the generator, the power went out as the control rods ended the life of the nuclear fire contained within the generator's body. And the ship was dark.
The goat quickly manipulated a few controls and brought the secondary power online, before overloading it.
Multiple explosions could be heard, and felt through the cold metal of the floor grating, and then silence.
The ship was dead, drifting through space towards its final destination.

The goat silently slipped out of engineering, easily avoiding the confused and scared bipeds. Screams of terror echoing around the hollow ship, and one by one, he silenced each one.
WebGL Spaceships and Trails
<Cuisinart8> apparently without the demon driving him around Silver has the intelligence of a botched lobotomy patient ~ Mar 04 2020
console.log(`What's all ${this} ${}`);

Re: Character Stories

Genocide 1:

The citizens of Karinari looked up in horror as the system's defense station burned through the atmosphere. They knew. The station did not eject it's antimatter reactors. That meant they would explode on the planet's surface.

A small shuttle ejected from the station.

A minute later, a flash occurred in the system, tearing the Karinari apart.

Genocide 2 and 3

Colony ship Sail Five, carrying the last one point three billion survivors of the Taminirn empire, did not begin it's deceleration burn on time. The engineers aboard panicked, attempting to figure out the reason for the malfunction, only to have the entire system shut down. Hours later, power came back online, and the occupants realized in terror that all escape pods have been ejected empty, and that the engine section of the ship has been jettisoned and detonated above the target planet, Mimir. The ship collided with the planet, killing the last Taminirn citizens and the entire population of Mimir have been killed. A single drop-ship left the system.

Genocide 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8

During the battle between the RA Federation and the LM Incorporate Alliance, only a single Alliance destroyer has survived. It was captured by a small squadron of heavy troops, only one of which survived to capture the bridge. Under Federation control, the destroyer glassed the Alliance worlds below. Federation reinforcements found a flattened world and a fleeing Alliance destroyer. The reinforcements followed the destroyer through three systems, only appearing in time to see the ship glass the worlds in the system and move on. The only managed to stop it in the fourth system, as it finished glassing the Alliance Capitol world.

The lone survivor was trialed and linked to three previous genocides, given a medal, and sentenced to eternal imprisonment.

Re: Character Stories

I decided to flesh out Dino's backstory a bit. :ghost:

"How I got here? That’s kind of a long story...truth be told, not like we have anything else to do right now. Allright.
It kind of started a long time ago, when I was … 10 I think? We lived on Proioxis, a planet in a fairly quiet system at the root of the Orion arm, at the outer part of the inner rim. It wasn't quite as rich as New Earth and the like, but it was a nice place to live.
Now, when I was about ten, the village I lived in had this event with a soap box race. As you can imagine, I pestered my dad into letting me participate. He eventually gave me access to his workshop and a bunch of parts - wheels, planks, screws all the stuff you need.
Eventually - and with a bit of his help, since I've never been very handy - I had a nice soapbox to go to the race with.
I then tested it on a hill nearby our house. It was good… but small me thought it didn't go fast enough.
So when my dad was away I sneaked around the house, stole our fire extinguishers and got to work to mount them on the cart. It took me a while, and I needed to remove some non-essential parts, but eventually I got them mounted on the cart, rigged up to a lever, and covered in some wood planks so my dad wouldn't notice what I’d done. I just painted the whole red with some yellow stripes and told him I did it to make it look cooler.
A week or two later, the actual race came. When I was about a third down, I found myself drifting towards the end of the pack, and I decided to activate my secret weapon. I pulled the lever, foam started spouting out of the extinguishers and my cart flew forward. I dodged and weaved between the other carts, wind blowing my hair backwards, and I felt something new - an exhilarating adrenalin rush, causing me to whoop as I flew down the hill.
Way too soon I reached the bottom and tried to use the brake to stop so I wouldn't hit the people waiting behind the finish line...and then I noticed the brakes were one of the non-essential parts I removed.
I decided to stop by doing a bootleg turn, which worked...but also covered a dozen people in extinguishing foam, including the mayor.
He wasn't very cool about it and I was disqualified from the race. Apparently you aren’t supposed to use propulsion in a soapbox race. What kind of lame rule is that?
My dad wasn't too pleased either, but on the other hand he had to contain himself not to start laughing at the sight of our pompous mayor covered in white foam, so I got off fairly lightly.
That race awakened a new passion I never knew I had, and I really got into VR racing games, and eventually discovered flight sims. I spent most of my high school time playing Frospace, Aerospace Sim and Interstellar Cargo Ship Simulator; and reading Hypernet pages about types of spaceships. Luckily I got a good memory, so I passed my actual classes without much of a problem.
When I was 16, after a lot of begging and talking into my parents, they finally let me go to the Proioxis Aerospace academy, a prestigious school that trains people for aerial and space flight with various types of craft, and some combat training to boot.
I passed the entrance exam with flying colours, of course.
Flight school was like heaven - learning to fly frigates, corvettes, cargo ships, aerial jets, small space fighters… I liked the dogfighting most, but the rest was fun too.
Four years passed way too fast, and then it was time for my exams. Now, a fair share of flight school is done in VR, of course, especially early on, but Proioxis Aerospace was a bit old-fashioned and still used as many practical examinations as possible, which I thought was pretty cool.
The first part was interstellar navigation - we had to fly a frigate to a station a few warpjumps away, and then dock it. Apparently I went a little fast when docking, but I didn't crash or something, so that part went well.
Next up was our infantry combat exam - we were put in a frigate-like decor, and got very low-power laser guns and photon-sensitive suits that temporarily paralyse parts of your body when it gets hit - so it would be like real combat without actually getting injured. We were split up in two teams - one team had to defend the frigate, and the other team (my team) had to board and take it over. Our team won without any “casualties”. I got some remarks from the professors afterwards - apparently you’re supposed to fire from cover and advance when it’s clear and not fire while storming into the hallway and then wallrun-kicking people unconscious. Still, I took out half of the opposing team on my own and didn't get hit, so they couldn't do anything but let me pass.
After that we got our dogfighting exam, which was in VR, for obvious reasons. That went well too - they were wondering why I shouted an old Japanese name for tiny trees when I went into battle, and they commented that strafing aileron rolls, while superior in evading, are a lot harder than simply strafing, but I pulled it off, so no problems there.
Last part was flying a passenger ship between two stations, around an asteroid field. Well, that was what we were supposed to do. I decided to save some time and go through it.
The examiners didn't agree, for some reason, saying the ship wasn't maneuverable enough to get through a field of that density. I tried explaining to them that, with the Hermes Mk. II, you can override the grav controllers in such a way that they act like an extra RCS system, giving you the maneuverability you need, but they wouldn't listen. They even tried to come to the front and override the controls, so I shut the plexiglass door to the cockpit and locked them into the passenger cabin.
The trip through the field went fine, as I told them - I heard them shout stuff when we passed asteroids closely, and I assumed they were cheering, so I gave some extra thrust to make things more fun. They shouted more after that, so I thought it was working.
After some time (a record time, apparently) we docked with the other station, not a single scratch on the ship. I looked backwards and asked how I did. They answered “Yes, yes, you pass! Now let us out of this flying death machine!" They looked a bit pale, must've been the excitement.
A week or two later, I got my diploma; apparently I got record high grades.
I tried to get into the academy as teacher, but they never responded to my emails and the doors were locked when I went there myself. Rude.
So, as backup plan, I applied for the Proioxian Space Army. I had to go through an entrance test in VR first - I was in a fighter ship, and had to fight off waves of fighters being launched from a nearby carrier. The first wave was just a single fighter, to start off easy. I recognised the ship - a Pluto Mk. 1. As you might know, a quite advanced ship, and it eschews the traditional cockpit for a strongly armoured cabin and a VR sensor array, making it a lot harder to take down. It has a fatal flaw though - the power cable for the cockpit sensor array pokes outside for a tiny part. Of course, to reach that part you have to get in point blanc of its dual gatling guns, which is kind of a deterrent to use that flaw, but if you dodge and weave in the right way and get a bit lucky you can evade those and slice through the cable, effectively making the pilot blind and deaf of what’s going on outside. Which is exactly what I did.
The next step was cutting a precise hole in the engines with my particle beam - the battery of the antimatter containment isn’t shielded as well as Pluto inc. wants to make you believe. I knew that gave me about 30 seconds before the inevitable kaboom, so I used my electromagnetic clamps to dump the fighter into the carrier launch bay and get the hell out of there. The following nuclear chain explosion of the antimatter tanks in all the docked fighters ripped apart most of the carrier, ending the test, and only giving my ship minor scorch damage.
I took of the VR goggles and saw the examining team looking at me perplexed - by my flying skills, no doubt. They let me out and told me they’d call me after they got in touch with some of my references at flight school. I figured it was in the bag. Alas, two weeks later they called me to let me know I was refused “due to too reckless flying behaviour”. What kind of rubbish is that?
A year later or so Pluto inc. released the Pluto Mk. 2, fixing some important flaws in the design of the Mk. 1. I never saw any dividend, though!
Anyway, I was eventually contacted by a group that did stunt flying performances - they thought I’d be perfect for their team. I was out of options at the time and it sounded fun, so I agreed. I was initially supposed to join the team act, but nobody else was up for the stunts I proposed, so I became their solo act.
We travelled a lot as most towns don’t need stunt performances twice in a short time. Those were fun times, I saw a lot of parts of Proioxis.
Then, the fateful day came - we did a performance in the capital. It went great, the crowd gasped and went wild when I did my standard triple loop with spin, then stall and pull up 10 meters above the ground. I was last to land back on the airfield. And that was when I saw it. Right there on the same field as me.
A real Ares Mk. 5 Deluxe! This thing is like the Ferrari of aerospace fighter ships - quintuple AM engines with vectorised nozzles, capable of breaking the sound barrier within 10 seconds after take-off, twin wing jet engines for aerial flight, the most powerful RCS system money can buy, allowing for incredible maneuvering even in atmosphere, a real BlastWhoosh aerial afterburner and a brand new, only just invented warp propulsion afterburner system for space flying, allowing you to blast away at 0.0001c.
And it was sitting right there, cockpit open, keys still in the contact. The pilot must've been to the bathroom or something.
I knew I shouldn't, but… how could I not? Of course I got in and flew off with it. It flew like an absolute dream, I hit the afterburner and swiftly soared through the skies at Mach 2, making circles around the city, dashing between skyscrapers, and having a ton of fun. I decided to test the RCS system - the capital has this huge modern art monument thing with tons of holes and bars and stuff. I soared through the tunnels and holes in complicated weaving patterns, and the Ares never hit anything even on the sharpest turns...what a ship!
Alas, that was when the fun ended, as I was suddenly attacked by police drones. Before I could get away, they hit the ship with a stasis field, setting it down without me being able to move a muscle, and I got arrested on accusation of terrorism.
I tried to explain why I did it during the hearing, but for some reason they didn’t believe anyone would do what I did for fun, and I got convicted and sent to Tartarus. And that’s why I’m here now."
Warning: do not ask about physics unless you really want to know about physics.
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