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A Wish for the Stars

#1
While writing a bit on my current LTFC-Entry my Mind apparently said "Meh, wanna do something else!" and started constructing the following (slightly dark) bit of text. Completely unrelated to what I actually wanted to write at that time. :ghost:

-----------------------------

All I see is Darkness full of Lights.
All around me, but out of reach.
For so long...

My name...unimportant.
My body...long gone.

I volunteered to a mind-transfer on a far-out planet...
I was supposed to direct some mining operations there before finally shutting down completely.
I wished to be of use after my death.
To help others who would do great things.

But the Calculations were wrong.
I missed the planet by a large distance.
I drifted away and got lost...

Now all I wish for...is a Star...
To fall into...and to perish...
.
.
.
It's been so long and all I see is Darkness...
Full of shining beacons of Life.
I was shown so much...
I wish for one of those beacons...
To embrace me, to make me part of the Life it allows.
Apparently, sometimes stuff might happen.
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Re: A Wish for the Stars

#2
Thanks for sharing with us. :thumbup:

I like the image / the idea of sending dying minds to control remote installations. A last service.

My personal opinion: I would repeat a the end the first verse, instead of the last paragraph.
All I see is Darkness full of Lights.
All around me, but out of reach.
For so long...
This I find stronger than the longer version you provided which is less powerful, and to my foreign ears, the last line breaks the rythm. Of course, you would be mission the beacons of life - but probably, most aren't anyway :).
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Re: A Wish for the Stars

#3
Thanks for the Feedback, CSE!

Actually you're quite spot on with your opinion of that last paragraph as that's pretty much the only bit I conciously thought up :shifty: No wonder it doesn't fit to the rest.

I added that last paragraph after a bit of thought what someone might come to think after a really long time drifting through space...I also got a bit depressed from that ending and tried to lift it a bit...

I'll put the unmodified Version into my little collection :ghost:
Apparently, sometimes stuff might happen.

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