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Re: Planetary

#16
InfelixTurnus wrote:It's an Iris projector. The idea is that there's an artificial iris which creates a HUD a couple of centimetres in front of your face, and that HUD is basically a smartphone dash, except more futuristic and holographic looking. The reason that it doesn't just project straight into your eye is that societal rules expect normal people's augmens to be visible for the sake of manners. It's rude to be able to do something else without others being aware, so commercial iris augmens all project into the air so other people can see as well.

Harry isn't aware that his military style apps are actually just imitators, actual military augmens of course only project inwards and their display's can't be seen from the outside, and they wouldn't release their apps anyway. :]
That's still pretty :crazy: .

Nice world your building here :thumbup: . I'd really like to see more of it :D .
Image The results of logic, of natural progression? Boring! An expected result? Dull! An obvious next step? Pfui! Where is the fun in that? A dream may soothe, but our nightmares make us run!
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Re: Planetary

#18
InfelixTurnus wrote:Heh, maybe if Josh likes this story (or even reads it), relite might become an actual mineral in the game.
It might just be an Easter egg :think: .
Image The results of logic, of natural progression? Boring! An expected result? Dull! An obvious next step? Pfui! Where is the fun in that? A dream may soothe, but our nightmares make us run!
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Re: Planetary

#20
Once again, my interest has been peaked :thumbup: .
Image The results of logic, of natural progression? Boring! An expected result? Dull! An obvious next step? Pfui! Where is the fun in that? A dream may soothe, but our nightmares make us run!
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Re: Planetary

#21
Wow, you're really on top of this huh? XD I was initially kinda hesitant to add such a short chapter but I saw that josh is online so I hurried to add what i had to try and get this to the top of the forums XD would u be opposed to WorldBuilder's Lore in the comments? I may do one every now and then for stuff lke the Iris Augmen or the Kuriol Fruit.
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Re: Planetary

#22
InfelixTurnus wrote:Wow, you're really on top of this huh? XD I was initially kinda hesitant to add such a short chapter but I saw that josh is online so I hurried to add what i had to try and get this to the top of the forums XD would u be opposed to WorldBuilder's Lore in the comments? I may do one every now and then for stuff lke the Iris Augmen or the Kuriol Fruit.
Don't be. Posting a chapter, even unfinished, is a good idea on a forum like this because of how easy it is to get feedback. Remember you can always come back and edit it later. :shh:

World builders Lore is always a good idea, but finding some way to put it in the story adds to the immersion. :angel:
Image The results of logic, of natural progression? Boring! An expected result? Dull! An obvious next step? Pfui! Where is the fun in that? A dream may soothe, but our nightmares make us run!
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Re: Planetary

#23
It's already in the story, really. The way I like to do world building is to treat it pretty much as a normal thing in the world and let the reader figure it out from context. Any world building snippets I do will be just extra information you can add to your own impression of the thing I described, or ignore entirely if you like. It only exists to help me rationalise the way my own world works, usually it doesn't come to surface. I'm more a fan of 'soft magic' which also has its equivalence in sci fi. Basically the magic of the world doesn't really need explanation, it just happens without much explanation as to the rules. The rules can be there, but you don't have to show them. As opposed to hard magic and hard sci fi where you explain every bit of the system so that the reader also knows the exact limits and you're less likely to be accused of handwaving plot holes away as 'magic' or 'future tech'.
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Re: Planetary

#24
That is good World Building then. If the average reader is fully capable of learning about your world through observation alone, with only minimal outside help, then you are good at what you do :thumbup: . Which, in this case, is writing. :D

Using Clarketech is a smart move. It helps hand wave the more troublesome things, such as FTL :geek: .
Image The results of logic, of natural progression? Boring! An expected result? Dull! An obvious next step? Pfui! Where is the fun in that? A dream may soothe, but our nightmares make us run!
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Re: Planetary

#25
I'm not sure if Josh has much time at the moment to read more than a few posts, InfelixTurnus. I can tell you that he appreciates the contributions made here. I don't comment here very much but I too appreciate the true wealth of writing talent on display in this forum. :thumbup: :D
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Re: Planetary

#26
The story is character based that happens to take place in a sci-fi environment. I like that. The world building is good and going on in the background.

You are keeping up a frantic pace, which is nice.

The Initials on the pendant change from E.C. to E.B. btw.

No pressure, but you have left an awful lot of posts reserved. I look forward to you filling them out.
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Re: Planetary

#28
Scousmatt, thanks for the tip on the initials. It's E.C, I'll fix it now.

Haha, all the extra reserved posts were because I didn't know the word limit on posts yet. I was leaving some space for whatever might come. If it ends up too short for it I'll delete a couple of them to make navigation easier.
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Re: Planetary

#30
Interesting. Am I right to assume that this mission takes place somewhere around Harry's location? :think:
Image The results of logic, of natural progression? Boring! An expected result? Dull! An obvious next step? Pfui! Where is the fun in that? A dream may soothe, but our nightmares make us run!

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