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Re: The End

#241
Hey everyone :)

I'm really glad to be feeling well enough again to be able to come back here and partake in what's left of the community. Once the announcement was made, I needed to step back from LT (in fact, from all things code) for a bit, so I hope you all can understand my hiatus. I think I went a full three months without coding, which, if you can believe it, must be the longest stretch in my life since I learned to code! Honestly, though, it was much-needed. I guess one never really comprehends how badly one needs to unwind until after the unwinding is complete.

Anywho, I wanted to say a few things:

Thank You.

Yes, it needs to be said. Thank you to everyone who expressed their understanding, either here or on Kickstarter. I know it wasn't all positive (nor could I possibly ask it to be), but the overwhelming kindness, compassion, genuine human goodness shown to me -- especially in the time immediately following the announcement -- made for what I can truly say was the most cathartic moment of my existence to date. I had failed, I had admitted to it on all levels, I felt absolutely wrecked by guilt and sadness, and yet, instead of the ground opening up beneath me and swallowing me straight into a burning underworld, I was greeted, on the whole, with compassion and understanding. I'm not afraid to admit that I had a good long cry when I saw the messages rolling in. Hundreds of them. I read every one of them, each time feeling the same disbelief that I wasn't being skewered or threatened with lawsuits.

Don't take this as a sign that I don't still feel guilt about not delivering what was promised. I do, and I imagine I'll live with it every day until I find a way to repay the debt somewhere down the road.

But seriously, I offer you all the most sincere thank you that I can muster, from the bottom of my heart.

LT Source Code Release - In Progress

Next, I'd like those who are interested in that code release to be aware that I am working on it, now that I've recovered sufficiently to code again! There are a lot of miscellaneous issues to cover before I'll make everything public. As I stated in the KS announcement, it's not a working game (and no, I'm not going to try to fix everything all of the sudden now that I'm in a better place...don't worry...). That being said, the engine is actually quite solid, and the way in which we use LuaJIT & the LuaJIT FFI to make zero-overhead calls for blazingly-fast gameplay logic is a pretty sweet technology, if you ask me. Indeed, through the years I think we've all learned that I'm more of a tech/tools/engine developer than a game developer. The good news is that the technologies I assembled over the years are, in my opinion, the right ones to have made LT possible. If only I could go back six years and enlighten myself...if only :ghost:

My point with all this is that, although I don't think the source release is going to enable anyone to carry on with LT, I do actually think the engine could be used by those who are interested in playing with game development, visualization, etc. through the extremely convenient (and performant) LJ + C Engine paradigm. Maybe I'm getting too ambitious here, but it could be really neat to even see people making little games/demos/procedural things and sharing their scripts here :) I know we have an abnormally-high level of programmer & creative talent lurking around here! There really is quite a lot of fun stuff you can do easily with everything we've developed over the years.

So, my priority right now with respect to the LT source release is to focus on packaging up the engine, tying up loose ends (of which there honestly aren't many), making sure it's easy to build, and providing a few minimal examples of how to get something up-and-running with it. I will still, of course, be releasing "LT," which is really just a bunch of Lua scripts sitting atop the engine (and a few assets), but again, that code is likely only useful insofar as the curious can peek at how we approached various problems.

Oh, and I will try to include a simple, bare-bones nebula generator/viewer script example since that seems to be such a popular request :)

I don't have a timeline for this release just yet, but I'll keep you all posted here and on KS. I'll likely roll it out in parts, with the easiest-to-prepare pieces coming out first. I'm also not going to go back to working 12-hour days. But I did want to reassure those who are actually interested in it that I've not changed my plans regarding a full release. Releasing failed code is a wonderfully low-anxiety task compared to releasing ambitious space simulation games, so I think I can actually handle this one :geek:

---

Thanks for reading, thanks again for being the wonderful community that you all are, and I'll report back as I make headway on the release! :wave:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ~ Henry Ford
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Re: The End

#243
Welcome back, Josh! Nice to hear things are going better- and that it's basically impossible for you to work yourself into a rut again :3

Also, I think I can speak for a lot of us when I say there's no need to feel guilty or indebted, especially since the source code is likely to leave a few of our members quite happy (and busy!)

Keep it laid back and relax, you've earned it.
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Re: The End

#244
Josh, I really dont know what to actually say.
6 years ago during what I would consider the hardest time of my life I was struggling with everything around me and specially lacked motivation. On the day I saw your first YouTube video on the 21st of November 2012 I saw all your passion and drive which really motivated me to try my best even if the road ahead of me was unsteady. As I saw your videos one after another it kept helping me to try my best just as you were. And after all the things that have happened to you I'm glad that you are still the same person who has tried his best and gone through many hardships which I personally respect. I dont in anyway mean to make you feel uneasy I just want to say thank you for your hardwork and for motivating so many of us in the community during times we just wanted to see something to make us feel at ease in the form of someone else's progress and energetic attitude. Dont let yourself be disappointed. There is nothing to be disappointed by. You tried your best with all your might and did not come out empty handed. You came out with more skills and expertise in coding and most importantly experience which is more valuable than anything else. It's like the old saying goes practice makes perfect. The more one fails and endures and strives to improve themselves the better they become not only as a talented individual but also as a human. Do not feel ashamed of this minor hurdle for the future is bright and the source code you release will be very important to assist others in creating a game down the road which is something to be proud of as it takes a lot of skill to attract others to use ones own code for another person's game later on.

So Josh once the source code is released always keep an eye out for other developers as they might approach you for advice as well as your knowledge and past experience. Never give up hope always strive to be the best you can be. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you for motivating and leading a 14 year old boy down the right path of pursuing him dream. Thank you so much.
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Re: The End

#246
Thank you, Josh.

But....

As glad as I am (as a code geek) that you're working on the code release, I can't help but also wonder: how are ypu doing?

What's next for you?

Is there anything we can do, or would you prefer that we leave you in peace on your own?
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Re: The End

#248
Welcome back Josh! :)
Flatfingers wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 7:35 pm
As glad as I am (as a code geek) that you're working on the code release, I can't help but also wonder: how are ypu doing?

What's next for you?

Is there anything we can do, or would you prefer that we leave you in peace on your own?
^This

0111narwhalz wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 11:04 pm
There is an "edit" button, you know… :ghost:
You don't get it until you've made 5 posts, actually
Warning: do not ask about physics unless you really want to know about physics.
The LT IRC / Alternate link || The REKT Wiki || PUDDING
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Re: The End

#253
Hi Josh. Great to hear from you, and especially to hear you sounding pretty ok -- a bit of decompression time seems like it was very beneficial.

I can understand why there would still be some lingering guilt, but I honestly hope that with more time you find a way to let it all go. Sure it's disappointing that it didn't all come to fruition, but don't ever let yourself forget that you gave it 100% -- no one should ever feel guilty about that.

Excellent to hear that the source code release(s) are in the works. I'm also not expecting LT to eventuate from it; but I think we may well see a few tasty fruits emerge from your labours, and I'm happy to know the code will be out there in any case.

Take care, and keep unwinding...

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